Over the past few months we have experienced a new dynamic in our student ministry.  We have started to see the need to spend even more time helping people understand what we are about and why we do what we do.  A few things have caused this to be the case.

1. The honeymoon has faded.  I was blessed to have people excited that I was coming to BBC to serve as student minister.  I worked hard to have a plan for the student ministry and wanted people to see me as both professional and relational.  This worked to essentially give me free reign as I started shaping a student ministry that had experienced some challenges and decline.  I had a great deal of support, and I was given freedom to grow as a minister.  Three years later, we have to continue to keep our vision and values in front of people.  Our parents need to be reminded that we still have a plan and a purpose for what we do.
2. New people showed up.  Again, this is a huge blessing.  Whether it has been the new students coming to our church or the students moving up from the children’s ministry, we have a ton of new faces who have parents who did not get to hear all of my fun ideas and hear my heart for students three years ago.  These parents don’t automatically have trust or understanding of what the student ministry is all about simply because it is new to them.
3. Student ministry is always changing shapes.  As we grow and develop our strategy in the student ministry, there are always areas where we are tweaking and improving things.  This means that programs have changed over time or have been replaced based on the needs of the students.  While our core values are the same, some of our events or programs now meet different needs in our student ministry.

So what do you do if you need people to buy into your ministry and the difference that it can make in the lives of the students?  I have found a few things that have really worked for us.

• Over-communicate as much as possible.  Have information in the hands of the parents as often as possible.  We send multiple reminders about programs and events to the point that I assume people are sick of hearing from me.
• Make the entry easy.  When someone enters our student ministry, we go heavy on the introductions to what we do and why we do it.  I typically touch base with new student ministry parents about three times in the first couple of weeks.  When students are entering middle school, I try to touch base individually with each set of parents to let them know a little about what to expect.
• Get questioning parents involved.  We have some great stories of parents who were not sold on our ministry becoming total advocates for us once they plugged in began serving alongside us.  Sometimes there are simple misunderstandings.  Sometimes parents have not considered all of the angles to why we do things the way we do them.
• Cast vision regularly and be available.  These two things have made a huge impact.  Most of the time people just want to know that you know what you are doing and have a reason for doing it.  When parents hear the vision, often they are impressed that we have spent time thinking about their student’s growth to the degree that we have.  Similarly, when parents know that they can ask questions, they have a much greater chance of coming to you with a problem before it grows into a ministry problem.

Here’s a hard truth for us as ministers: sometimes a conversation is not good enough.  In an age of relational ministry, sometimes we think that this approach means that all we have to do is talk to our people about the weather or sports or how school is going.  If we complete a good round of small talk, then we have done our relational duty and have gotten our folks on the path of spiritual growth.  Because the goals of relational ministry can be difficult to define, we often settle for much less than the best.

There are certainly some very positive aspects of being relational in ministry.  I would be much less effective if I only spoke at my students rather than with my students.  I value the opportunities to demonstrate concern for my students by asking them about their lives.  In fact, I frequently mention to our volunteers that some of the most important ministry times are those times before and after an event.  Demonstrating our concern and interest in people’s lives is definitely a calling for ministers, but sometimes it is not enough.

As you read through the Bible, it does not take long to see that those who were specifically tasked with doing God’s work often had to speak difficult truths, say unpopular things, and confront in uncomfortable ways.  We also see that we are asked to speak truth in love to people.  As ministers, we are called to do these same things today.  When we fail to do these things, we are essentially giving our stamp of approval to the way that students are living their lives, even when it does not honor God.  We must be willing to put light onto the areas where they can grow so that they can advance in the journey of their faith.

Here are a couple of examples of what this might look like.  We had a student who was in a very unhealthy romantic relationship, and it was obvious that this student was heading down a destructive path.  With all of the love and concern I could muster, I simply let the student know that I was concerned and that I would love for the student to spend some time considering where the path that she was taking was leading.  Another student we work with has had a difficult time with the issue of cheating.  While it was uncomfortable, we pointed out that this was not something that would help the student in life or in the student’s faith.  In both of these cases we did not seek to condemn or to shame, but we wanted to simply do our part in sharing truth with the student so that they might be able to make the right decision.

Speaking truth is difficult, but it is our calling.  Sometimes a conversation is not good enough.  Sometime God has called us to do more than that.  However, if this is going to work, we had better be sure that we have established a relationship with the student through a heart of ministry and a God-given desire to see the student become all that he or she can become.  It may be that the truth you speak will change the course of their lives.  What an honor.